Pastor's Circle - Bill Ury

Dr. Bill Ury is Professor of Systematic Theology at Wesley Biblical Seminary and hosts the Hour of Holiness on AFR on Sunday mornings. He joined the Pastor's Circle to discuss the importance of forgiveness in our lives. Below are the "CliffsNotes" of his interview.

Why is forgiveness controversial?

When it really comes back to is resentment. We want to get back at people; we don't want them to get away with whatever they did to us.

But Jesus is clear: if you're going to hold that stuff in your heart, you can't be forgiven.

So I began to look at Matthew 18, the story about the man who was forgiven and yet would not forgive.

Jesus said this was a pretty big deal. At some level, every one of us is accountable to have a willingness to let the other person go from whatever you're holding against them.

Every aspect of forgiveness is a process. You may not be able to completely forgive all at once, but you have to be willing to start the process.

At its base, forgiveness is bearing. You bear with the other person's sinfulness in your heart. That's what Jesus did when he died for us.

And then, probably the hardest of all, is the willingness to begin the relationship again. It may not be an intimate friendship, but just to put the other person ahead of yourself in every aspect.

All of this is a window for how we see God and for how he involves himself in our world.

Is it harder to accept forgiveness, or to ask for it?

In the story, what I get from Matthew 18 is that it's more difficult to receive it. The guy can't comprehend what God has done for him. He never allows it to permeate his life. If you can't receive, you can't give.

People will hurt you in life. It's going to happen. You've just got to keep receiving that grace in your life.